Hello, My Name is "Whiny"

I am an emotional mess with a headache that won't go away. Is this normal? Perhaps a 'side effect' of all the meds?

I keep telling myself it is. And I tell Zach that too. Poor guy. He gets the brunt of it.

I just can't seem to help it. It's almost a depressed feeling. One that has no meaning behind it. I just cry easily and mope around. And eat too many peanut butter m&m's.

I've noticed bruising on my belly from my shots. I guess when you put 3 needles a day into your belly, you're bound to have some consequences! They are funny, in a weird way. B/c you can see my pattern of 'injections'. I have almost a complete straight line across my belly about 2 inches below my belly button. Perfect little round purple bruises.

And I'm not gonna lie. The shots are starting to hurt a bit. Kinda sore feeling too. Nothing that I can't handle, just uncomfortable for about 30 min after each shot.

My boobs are getting bigger too. I was hoping for smaller! My regular bras are snug around my chest and my sports bras aren't as 'can barely tell its there' comfortable either. And while I'm at it- I think my butt is getting bigger, spreading, something... I had read to expect weight gain, but man, I hoped to be an exception!

I'm sorry to complain and whine. That really wasn't my intention when I logged on. I was mostly going to ask if you ladies that have been on these meds have had the never-ending headaches and sudden moodiness. I seem to have come a long way from that!

"This to shall pass" and my daily visits to the dr start in the morning! Another daily needle and the awkwardness of daily vag ultrasounds. Oh, boy!

waiting...

I went in for the suppression check this morning. Had blood drawn for estra.diol level and had a vag ultrasound. I still have 'two juicy cysts' on my left ovary. They measure 3.6 and 2.8. I don't know how much they are going to interfere. It worries me.

Now I'm just waiting on the call to get the number from the estra.diol test. Less than 50 is great and we can proceed as planned. 50-100 is iffy. 100+ means more lu.pron and postpone starting foll.i.stim.

I REALLY don't want to postpone anything (of course).

Anyway, for now, I wait.

***** UPDATE *****

My estra.diol number/level/whatever is 23!!!!! YAY - Lu.pron did it's job and we can continue on from here! Foll.i.stim starts tomorrow! eek!!!

Update

Okaaaaayyy, well I started the 10cc's of Lu.pron this morning after much hesitation and anxious waiting. (oh, and my period is still here)

I set my alarm for 7:45 so I would be good and ready to make the dr. call at 8:00 when they open. I call immediately and the receptionist says neither of my nurses are available- can she take a message? Yes, please! I fill her in and she says she will have someone call me asap.

Exactly 55 minutes later, one of my nurses calls back.

"You're fine" she says. "Go ahead with the shot this morning. You have a suppression check Thursday, right?"she asks. "Yes, at 10:30-- Does me having a period mean we will have to cancel? That the lu.pron didn't do it's job last month?" I ask. She replies: "We will see Thursday @ the suppression check. For now, do the Lu.pron shots in the morning as scheduled."

Ladies, I gotta tell you. This does not ease my mind. I'm freaking out. I've been on the verge of tears ALL DAY. I 've tried to stay busy. Had lunch with a friend, took a short jaunt through a fav antique store with my MIL, and did some mall shopping with my mom... But I just can't shake the feeling that this cycle is going to be a bust. I know this is negative and I've tried SO HARD to stay positive through all of this.... but right now, my confidence bubble has popped.

Please keep all fingers and toes crossed for my Thursday appt. Apparently that will be the only thing that can calm me down now. {{thanks}}

trying not to freak out

Ok, so I woke up this morning with bad cramps. Like, pms cramps. I'm thinking "hmmm...wonder what it is... I am not supposed to be having a period with the lu.pron..must be indigestion from dinner."

2 hours later I get out of the shower to discover a thin line of bright red blood running down my inner thigh (sorry, tmi).

What. is. going. on?

I am not an 'official' ivf patient until Monday when I do my first shot so I don't have the weekend number of my fertility dr. I'm telling myself it's ok. That is just 'break through' bleeding. And that just like the last time I started Lu.pron I had to have a period first. I'm also telling myself it's just b/c it's my first month on it and maybe it's not totally in my system???

I'm just freaking out that when I go for my suppression check on Thursday they are going to tell me this month is a no-go b/c the lu.pron didn't suppress the endo enough (I mean, I'm having a light period!!!).

*sigh...I don't know what to think. Any suggestions or ideas? Did this happen to you on Lu.pron?

PS. I'm on cycle day 26...

I fought and the sinus infection won

I have been battling this dreadful infection for 2 weeks. I was scared to go to the doctor and have any 'serious' medicine b/c I was worried it would affect the Lu.pron.

But this morning I woke up unable to breathe and feeling pretty dizzy. My head was so full of junk no amount of robi.tussin, mu.cin.ex, suda.fed, etc was gonna get through this. I went ahead to school b/c i have too much to wrap up before school is out, and I used a 'leave early pass' to get to the dr asap.

After 1 1/2 hours in the waiting room and a $75 copay (dang urgent care place- I almost left when I found out how much it was! yikes!) I FINALLY saw the doctor. He couldn't believe how bad the infection was. Gave me a big 'ole prescription for a.mox.icillan and sent me on my way.

But not before asking about the horrendous bruises on both of my arms. Yep, yet again I had to tell my fertility bloodwork appt tale. I hope to NEVER get that nurse/phlebotomist again! It's been a week and the bruises are now faded to a redish-brownish- yellowish color. the one on my right arm is still the size of a half dollar and the one on the left arm is the size of a baseball. Lovely.

ANYWAY, the important (what I feel was important) was that he shared HIS recent fertility journey with his wife! They went through ivf procedures a couple of months ago, it worked the first time, and they are now pregnant with twins! God knew I needed him as my doctor today...

Here's to the meds working quickly and the lu.pron side effects to stay away!!!

So Far, So GOOD!

I need some wood to knock on... but I gotta say, I'm feeling 'normal' so far! I am SO RELIEVED! To think how badly I fought this shot last summer. Though I shouldn't shout 'hooray' yet as it hasn't even been a week-- but still! I'm happy just knowing I've survived week one. :)

I sure don't want to go to work tomorrow but it's helpful to know there are only 10 more days with kids! Then June 3, summer is officially here!

L. Shot-- DONE!

Ahhhhh, the new abode. We are FINALLY moved in, though there are STILL things left at the other house-- office stuff, cleaning stuff, extra furniture, patio furniture, and stuff in the garage. Um, wow, that's a lot. And to think the new house is already full. hmmm...

Anyway, we're here and so far, it's super good! We've met lots of great neighbors, tried out some yummy restaurants, and we're looking forward to our first community event next weekend. :)

In the baby news segment of my life, I GOT THE SHOT!!! Oh my goodness I was a nervous wreck. All I kept thinking about was how after my lap last summer I did too much goo.gle research about Lu.pron and did everything I could to not have to take it. The 'possible' side effects are scary as hell. But, alas, here were are 11 months to the lap date later, and the shot was given this week. Tuesday actually. So far I'm good as gold. I haven't noticed anything (but major gas bubbles)- yet. But with my allergies/cold/sinus infection (I have no idea which I have!) I have been pretty distracted. Oh, and with it being the last month of school and all. Perfect timing!

So I do 28 days of this, then start the typical ivf protocol. We have an appt the last week of may for Z's bloodwork (I got mine Tuesday and still have the nasty bruises on my arms to prove it!), a trial run for the retrieval ('sounding' they call it), and we'll meet with the doc for discussion & schedule and the nurse for injection lessons. And I guess we'll also be ordering the mass quantities of other lovely drugs and needles.

But I don't care!!!! I'm super excited! And Z is elated! :) We are one step closer!

Shot-less

Weeeellll, I guess in trying to postpone my period just through my extended NYC weekend, I ended up spoiling the whole month. Because I never got my period. Well, not an 'official' period as the nurse said. She can't / won't /would rather not give me the Lu.pron shot until I have a full flow. Never got one. I told her I'd been heavily spotting for days. Told her about the extra 4 bc pills I took to put it off for a few days so I wouldn't be in NY rather than GA when i started.

Oh well.

I'm past being upset. It took several days. Poor Z. He tried so hard for us to have a fun weekend and a relaxing weekend before the ivf roller coaster began. And the weekend WAS great. But in my fury after missing this month, I regret to say that I fussed at him and told him that if we had never gone on the trip, I wouldn't have missed the shot b/c I would have had my period b/c I wouldn't have taken extra bc pills. Poor thing. He felt terrible and I felt worse for saying it. I was upset. He says I was having a panic attack. I did end up in the corner of our walk in closet crying so maybe he was right.

Sooooo...anyway. That's where we are. Waiting. Again. I'm not even on bc pills this month. I am so 'off' schedule I didn't know where to begin on the pill cycle! Hoping for a quick month to pass and my period to start ASAP!