So...IVF

I've been so caught up and worried about the financial aspect of IVF that I haven't given much thought to the whole process itself. And I feel like I need to. I like to be informed. Plan ahead. That sort of thing.

My teacher insurance does not cover anything toward fertility treatment. Everything we've done so far with Dr.K has been out of pocket. With such a big deposit needed to begin IVF, we're holding off until January.

I'm okay with this. It'll give me a chance to organize, get centered, relax, prepare, and most importantly, spend some time with Zach. It'll be good for us to have a few months to be able to be 'us' without always talking about dr appts or schedules or meds or side effects etc...

In the spirit of me 'prepping' for IVF, does anyone recommend any books on IVF? Or couples going through the process?

Fun Saturday Shopping!

Had a great day out shopping with one of my favorite shopping buddies! We were looking for a dress for her to wear to a wedding next month. My plan was to buy nothing. Uh-huh. Some plan!

It took us a little while to 'get into the grove' but boy once we did we went a little wild! The LOFT has some cute stuff for fall!!! They also had a sale going on sweaters (select sweaters were buy 1 get the 2nd half off). I got 2 sweaters, a cute short sleeve shirt, and a pair of jeans! Banana Republic had a sale on their sale stuff (buy 2 sale items get the 3rd for FREE!). I got Zach a sweater and a pair of shorts and I got a cute gray shrug. :) After the mall we hit up Old Navy (cardicoats were $20) and DSW (I got 2 pairs of super cute flats both on sale!). I wanted rain boots but they are totally sold out. It's amazing all the rain we've gotten here in GA recently! I looked at boots for fall/winter, too. I need some black ones. I just can't seem to fall in love with the black. I love them all in brown! *sigh... shopping woes! haha!

It was so nice to get out of the house today and have some girl time. We left at 2:00 and I got home around 9:15! That's a long shopping trip! My poor Sadie girl missed me and I felt bad. She kept jumping up on me and now she's laying on the couch with me. She's such a sweet puppy girl! (I need to post a pic of her one day! I don't have any pics on this laptop. She is such a cutie! She's a black lab). Anyway, we are blogging and "She's All That" is on in the background. Do you remember that movie? With Freddie Prinze Jr.? It's not that great or anything--I think I just stopped on it when channel surfing b/c he was in it. Reminded me that he and his pretty wife Sarah Michelle had their baby girl this week (or was it last week?). They named her Charlotte. I thought it was a pretty, nice, NORMAL celebrity baby name! :)

Ok, I'm off to read my book club book since I have not started it and I am hosting the meeting Wednesday night! We are reading "The Girl Who Stopped Swim.ming". Happy Weekend!

PS. I heard from the Dr. yesterday-- NO LU.PRON! He's gonna let me just stay on bcp! Though I am not getting back on that awful Des.o.gen! ugh! that stuff was terrible!

Moving on

I haven't been blogging because I've had a rough last few weeks. The bcps really did a number on me. I have been an emotional wreck. Major depression. Mild (and one major) panic attacks. Not wanting to eat or leave the house. Talk with friends. Or even my husband for that matter. I just wanted to sleep or watch tv. Just be alone. I've cried. Prayed. Felt hopeless and helpless. All while trying to appear, at least, to have myself together.

Well the 6 weeks of bcp's are finally over and AF arrived yesterday. I went in this morning for blood work and a transvag ultrasound to see if the bcps did their job and shrank my cyst. With fingers crossed, I was told that the cyst was, in fact, still there. And it had barely changed in size. It went from a 3.8 to a 3.7. Not near enough change. IUI is out of the picture.

Deep down I think I knew this would be the result. I had been surprised when I got the call that they wanted to try the clomid/IUI cycle in the first place. But man, it had given me such hope.

So now I'm on a new waiting game. IVF is now our only option. So the money saving begins. We are aiming for January/Feb. In the meantime, I need to be on either bcp's or lupron to keep that cyst at bay while we wait for the new year. I'll find out tomorrow what that plan of action will be. I'm hoping for bcps. Just NOT the ones I was just on!!! I just want to feel 'normal' for a few months before the craziness begins again. The calendars and schedules and medicines and injections and appointments and waiting. I want to enjoy Fall (my fav season) and enjoy my husband and my puppy and the holidays. So I can start the new year (and our new IF adventure) rested and with a renewed spirit...