waiting...

I went in for the suppression check this morning. Had blood drawn for estra.diol level and had a vag ultrasound. I still have 'two juicy cysts' on my left ovary. They measure 3.6 and 2.8. I don't know how much they are going to interfere. It worries me.

Now I'm just waiting on the call to get the number from the estra.diol test. Less than 50 is great and we can proceed as planned. 50-100 is iffy. 100+ means more lu.pron and postpone starting foll.i.stim.

I REALLY don't want to postpone anything (of course).

Anyway, for now, I wait.

***** UPDATE *****

My estra.diol number/level/whatever is 23!!!!! YAY - Lu.pron did it's job and we can continue on from here! Foll.i.stim starts tomorrow! eek!!!

Moving on

I haven't been blogging because I've had a rough last few weeks. The bcps really did a number on me. I have been an emotional wreck. Major depression. Mild (and one major) panic attacks. Not wanting to eat or leave the house. Talk with friends. Or even my husband for that matter. I just wanted to sleep or watch tv. Just be alone. I've cried. Prayed. Felt hopeless and helpless. All while trying to appear, at least, to have myself together.

Well the 6 weeks of bcp's are finally over and AF arrived yesterday. I went in this morning for blood work and a transvag ultrasound to see if the bcps did their job and shrank my cyst. With fingers crossed, I was told that the cyst was, in fact, still there. And it had barely changed in size. It went from a 3.8 to a 3.7. Not near enough change. IUI is out of the picture.

Deep down I think I knew this would be the result. I had been surprised when I got the call that they wanted to try the clomid/IUI cycle in the first place. But man, it had given me such hope.

So now I'm on a new waiting game. IVF is now our only option. So the money saving begins. We are aiming for January/Feb. In the meantime, I need to be on either bcp's or lupron to keep that cyst at bay while we wait for the new year. I'll find out tomorrow what that plan of action will be. I'm hoping for bcps. Just NOT the ones I was just on!!! I just want to feel 'normal' for a few months before the craziness begins again. The calendars and schedules and medicines and injections and appointments and waiting. I want to enjoy Fall (my fav season) and enjoy my husband and my puppy and the holidays. So I can start the new year (and our new IF adventure) rested and with a renewed spirit...

Catching Up (work, reading, dr news)

Oops! It's been over a week since I've posted! Work is so crazy right now that I simply come home, eat, shower, and sleep! It's pitiful! I am up to 27 students in my room--- but help is on the way! A teacher transferred over today and is getting her room ready. 6 of my kids will move to her room soon. The letters went home to their parents today...kinda nervous about how they will take the news!

Aside from work, I spent much of the weekend finishing The Time Travelers Wife. wow. That's all I'll say for now (I know many of you are reading it!). My book club is meeting up tomorrow for a chat and then we're going to see the movie together! Can't wait to see what made it into the movie...

In ttc news, I'm on week 3 of birth control. I feel pretty yucky. And my 'girls' are HARD AS ROCKS and SORE!!! ugh. This is especially uncomfortable sleeping as I am a stomach sleeper. :( Anyway, I am supposed to skip the 'white pills' next week and go straight to a new pack/month of pills Friday night. However the pharmacy won't fill the prescription this early. And since teachers don't have time to pee during the day much less sit on hold for doctors and pharmacies, I've got Zach on the job. His mission is to get me my bcp by Friday afternoon. Poor guy!

While I'm a little apprehensive to mention this (b/c it still doesn't 'feel' right), I got a call last week from the Dr. K's office telling me that after my 6 weeks of bcp's are over Dr. K wants me to come in for a clomid check!!! He says he doesn't think the cyst was that bad especially considering I had just ovulated a couple of days before the procedure was done. He wants to try clomid / IUI !!!!! I'm like, really??? I thought you wanted to see how bcp's did on the cyst and so forth. I guess it seems too good to be true so I am finding a negative--for some reason. So, ladies, this means I'll be doing the infamous 'clomid challenge' and IUI in the next month or so!!! CRAZY!

I have TONS of questions about clomid and the IUI, but that will have to be for another day/post. I'm sleepy!

RE Appointment Update

So the nurse called me a couple of hours ago with interesting news...

My doc would like to put me on 6 weeks of birth control to see if/how much it suppresses the cyst.

I'm supposed to start it tonight. I'm curious to see what happens. Zach was very surprised. The way the nurse was yesterday about the size of the cyst considering I had had the lap recently and all that...

So here's what I'm thinking:

Doc wants to see how my endo responds to bc pills for

1. to see if its enough to try IUI

2. to see if it will work well enough to allow me to skip Lu.pron and just do bc pills until December (while we are waiting for IVF in January)

Hmmmmm.....

RE Appointment for Hysteroscopy

So I had the ultrasound and hysteroscopy appointment this morning. A bit uncomfortable (not as bad as the HSG) and pretty quick. I will get an official call from the doctor tomorrow with his diagnosis and all, but from the nurse practitioner that did the procedure today the results are:

~ A fibroid on the back of the uterus wall

~ A LARGE cyst (endometrioma) in my left ovary

So that means no IUI and we'll have to go the IVF route.

Sigh...

Deep down I knew this would be the result. But I still can't help but be disappointed.

So now I'm anxious to find out the plan/timeline from here...