A Peaceful View

I was talking with one of my most spiritually strong friends about my struggles the other day. Somedays I feel like Z and I are doing something wrong-- or that we are not 'ready' in some aspect of our lives.  I feel like God is waiting for us to be... something.  I don't know what.  I look at our life together, as a family and as individuals and I can't figure out what we are lacking.  Does that make sense?

So I am talking to her about this and she says to me:

"It may not be about you at all.  It may just not be quite the right time for your baby."

Um, what?  I've never thought about it like that before.

So she proceeds to tell me the story of Mary (as in the Virgin Mary)and Elizabeth (as in mother of John).  She tells me that even though Elizabeth was late in life to conceive (40 years old) and of course we know Mary's story, God needed Elizabeth to wait for her blessing because the son she would bear had an important job to do later in life.  Hence, she waited years and years for him because he had an important role in the future.

Hmmmmm...  Now, I am not retelling this eloquently AT ALL, and for that I am sorry, but do you see where I'm going with this?

Maybe it isn't me.  Maybe it's just not time for our baby yet.  Maybe our baby needs to be born in 1 year or 3 years (or longer) because he/she has an important role to play in the future...

I totally and absolutely trust God and his plan for us.  I do.  But, as we probably all feel at times, we also wish that we could have a sneak peek preview of what His plan is.  I know I do!

::deep breath::  

I do feel much more at peace with this now than I have in a long while.  So I will sleep well tonight trusting in God's plan for our baby blessing...